The Carrot Burger Experiment

We recently bought a juicer, and after a marathon carrot juicing adventure this past weekend, we were left with a little over a quart of carrot pulp. Not wishing to waste it, I looked up some ideas online and created the following recipe. Please note that our juicer is a masticating one and so the pulp that comes out is fairly dry and required no additional squeezing to remove excess liquid like centrifugal juiced pulp might require:

Carrot Taco Burgers


a little over a quart (as in ziplock bag quart) of masticated carrot pulp.

2 packets of low sodium taco seasoning (I used two based on the sheer amount of pulp in my bowl…it was at least equal to 2 pounds of ground meat)

4 eggs

1-1/3 cups of panko bread crumbs

extra virgin olive oil

shredded cheese

taco sauce

chopped cabbage

hamburger buns

Stuff I Did to the Things

Open and sprinkle seasoning packet contents on the pile of carrot pulp. Mix well, making sure there are no spice lumps lurking. Lurking spice lumps are a tragedy and should be avoided at all costs.


Add beaten eggs and mix until combined. Mixture will look a little wet.


Add the panko 2/3 of a cup at a time, making sure to incorporate it all with each dump (hur hur hur…I said dump).  Sprinkle on a little more panko just to make sure you have enough…maybe another 1/4 of a cup worth and slop that all together until it looks mixed. Shape into patties and chill for 30-45 minutes.


Saute patties in olive oil for about 5 minutes per side, until browned.


Top with cheese and serve in hamburger buns with taco sauce and a little chopped cabbage.


Also? Lie to your children about what they are eating until the burgers are consumed, then point and mock with ‘ha ha ha! you ate a carrot burger and liked it!!!’. This recipe made about 12 burgers, I could have halved it but I liked that we could eat seconds without feeling too guilty.

I forgot to mention that these were fucking fantastic. 10/10 will make again. The whole family loved them, even the deeply suspicious of anything new and/or strange, Rabid Hyena the Younger, went back for seconds.


Kale to the Celeriac (aka All The Colors in My Paintbox)

Once again I find myself needing to use up some languishing produce and also faced with the dilemma of what to make to feed my family. Good thing these two things mesh well. So, in a vain attempt to rid the pantry and fridge of the potentially offending items, I concocted this hot mess. My taste-brain says it should work well though. Secondary title was inspired buy Ballet For A Rainy Day by XTC, which I was listening to while I crafted this soup and post.

Potato-Celeriac-Fennel-Kale Soup (for lack of a better name)


fingerling potatoes, not peeled but cubed, about 1-1/2 cups

celeriac, peeled and cubed, about 1-1/2 cups

onion, about 1/2 of a medium sized one, diced

fennel, smallish to medium sized bulb, sliced thin and chopped

3 small bay leaves

2 – 32 oz cartons of low sodium chicken broth (you could use veggie broth to make this a vegan version)

hickory bacon salt, several good shakes (I used this as a flavor and salt sub instead of bacon or ham)

garlic flakes, couple of small pinches

2 tbl extra virgin olive oil

lacinato kale, small bunch, center stems removed and leaves chopped

1/2 cup of unsweetened soy milk

1 tbl of all purpose flour

Things Done to the Stuff

In a medium sized stock pot, saute onion and fennel in the olive oil until soft and just starting to caramelize.


Add the cubed potato and celeriac, giving a good stir and allowing to cook for about 5 minutes.


Pour in the chicken broth, add the bay leaves, garlic flakes and bacon salt, stirring to combine. Simmer on medium heat for 30-40 minutes. When the cubes of celeriac and potato are tender, roughly mash leaving various sized chunks.


Whisk soy milk and flour and sit aside. Lower heat, add kale to the stock pot, stirring well and allow to gently simmer for about 15 minutes.


Pour in the soy milk-flour slurry and mix well. Serve with toasted bagel halves.


It turned out far better than it smelled (to me anyway, everyone else thought it smelled grand). I took all the photos a little hurriedly…I used to take time with my food shots, making sure they looked really good, now I just can’t be arsed. Sorry.

Blended and Stirred

I find myself needing to make something quickly and needing to use up some veggies that were languishing in the fridge…and thus this soup was born.


2 tbl extra virgin olive oil

1 tbl unsalted butter

1 small red onion, diced

1 small head of cauliflower, chopped

3 small russet potatoes, diced

2 small bunches of broccoli, chopped…include the long stems as well as the florets and any floret ‘dust’ that drops

1 small bag of baby rainbow carrots, sliced in rounds…larger ones sliced in half, lengthwise then in rounds

3 bay leaves

2 – 32 oz cartons of low sodium veg broth

a good pinch of garlic flakes

1 – 7 oz tube of herbed cream cheese, softened at room temp

1 & 1/2 cups of soy milk mixed into a slurry with 2 tbl of flour

Stuff to do with the Things

Sauté the diced onion in the olive oil & butter until soft. Add potatoes and continue to cook while you slice the carrots.


Add carrots and mix well, continuing to cook while you chop the cauliflower. Allow the onion, potato and carrot mixture to cook for an additional 5 minutes, trying to get a little color on the vegetables…stirring often.


Add the caulifower and stir well, allowing to cook while you chop the broccoli and then for an additional 5 min after, stirring frequently.


Finally add the broccoli, stirring well again. Allow to cook for an additional 5 minutes before adding the broth, garlic flakes and bay leaves.


Cover and simmer for 30-40 minutes or until all veg are very tender. Ladle soup into your vitamix or blender and blend in batches until smooth. You could also use a stick blender. Return blended soup to pot on the stove (set to medium low) and add soy milk & flour slurry, whisking the whole time. Slice the log of cream cheese and introduce to the creamed soup, whisking to melt and blend. Finish with a couple liberal pinches of Sel Gris.

Once everything is blended, serve with water crackers.


Much Ado About Anaranjado

I love that word. Anaranjado. I love the way it sounds, love the mouth feel…the way it rolls off my tongue like dark chocolate. It’s a sexy, sexy word. I realize that it is the Spanish word for the color orange and I am about to speak of the fruit which is naranja, but I woke up, feeling wheezy* and am snarfing two clementines so I can take some chest congestion medication…so why not use this as an excuse to blog. If I am going to blog about orange-type fruits, I have to include one of my favorite words in said post.

Yes, I am well aware that I said I was going to talk of oranges and then I said clementines. Yes, I know these are not the same things, but for me clementines are as close as I should get to oranges which have too much potassium for me anyway. Nevermind that I consumed most of a jug of pulp free orange juice just this past weekend, trying to stave off whatever sickness is causing this damned chest congestion…I like to conveniently forget all about my dietary limitations when faced with some really delicious juice.

I just love clementines, and they are always available in abundance this time of year. I received a 12 pack yesterday from Door to Door Organics and have already consumed at least 6 of those. It’s kind of ridiculous. I had another 12 the week prior and consumed those all in a matter of days. Any day now I should be sated with clementine flesh and should start my metamorphosis…or something. I had nothing in mind when I started this post and now I have clearly run out of what little brain steam I had. I will say that I hope to blog some new recipes over the next few days as I have a plethora of produce that needs cooking. Now I just need to remember why I specifically ordered that fresh basil…and I leave you with this:


With that lighting and vignette filter, my little 3 am snack looks like 70’s porn.

*I say wheezy here, but as I said in an IM message to a friend who is most likely asleep, ‘woke up wheezing like a syphilitic apothecary’…just because.