SO I have gout brought on by my traitorous kidneys. I know. I have the rich, fat, white, Edwardian man’s disease! For those not in the know, gout is a kind of inflammatory, arthritis-like disease that feels like gremlins with acid-dipped knives are repeatedly stabbing the affected joint. The causes of gout are an overabundance of uric acid that forms crystals in the joints. When your body tries to flush these crystals via white blood cells, the pain and swelling is the reaction. Or maybe it’s just the devil as this vintage illustration suggests. The devil and cello playing…while an incongruous grackle looks on…possibly looking smug, possibly laughing. Who can know the thoughts of Incongruous Grackle?
Moving on, I now have a new list of foods to avoid during an attack…none of which came from my kidney doctor but instead are the result of lots and lots of research on my part. Basically I should avoid foods high in purines during an attack and this should help mitigate the symptoms. So I have decided to finally just go vegetarian…anything to avoid that pain. If I had been told I was reduced to a diet of dirt and water for alleviation, this would be the best fucking mud pie recipe ever.
Artichoke Hearts Taco Filling
1 can of artichoke hearts
2 tbl extra virgin olive oil
tajin clásico seasoning, the low sodium kind
ancho chili powder
granulated garlic or garlic powder (NOT garlic salt)
Heat up an appropriately sized sauté pan and add the olive oil. Drain and chop artichoke hearts and add to the preheated pan. Sprinkle on all seasonings (use the amounts you deem fitting), mix well
and saute until the artichoke hearts begin to brown and get a little crispy on the edges. Takes about 10 min or so. Basically you want a lot of that water that’s in them to cook out.
Use as you would any other taco or burrito filling.